Job chapter 16

In verse 4 job responds by syaing : I could say the same things if I was in your place. I could spout off my CRITICISMS against you ans shake my head at you. But that is not what I would do. I would speak in a way that helps you(ENCOURAGES). I would try to take away your grief. But as it is my grief remains no matter how I defend myself. And it does not help if I REFUSE TO SPEAK. Here lies the cycle of the CO-DEPENDENT. Criticisms come rather then love and encouragement and we as CO-DEPENDENTS refuse to speak. Even Job in his slow tumble to nothingness saw that it DOES NOT HELP if we refuse to speak. WOW did that hit me like a ton of bricks. God help me in the midst of my battle to SPEAK and NOT SIN.

Then in verse 18 & 19 he says : Do not conceal my blood. Let it cry out on my behalf. EVEN NOW (at his lowest point he thinks) MY WITNESS IS IN HEAVEN.

GOD help me not to give false witness or blame you for everything wrong in my life.Let my winess be of you and your saving grace.
GOD HELP , FORGIVE, AND BLESS US ALL.

Job chapter 15

In verse 11 the question is asked, Is God's comfort to little for you? Is his gentle word not enough? What has captured your reason? What has weakened your vision, that you turn against God and say all these evil things?

So many times I think we give into the evil of the devil's devices and lose perspective from God. We become consumed by the incident rather then seeing that it is just a symptom of something deeper then we are willing to look at. I encourage you to step back and see what is the truth and let it set and keep you free. Let Him be our strength and comfort at all times.

food
BRK-- fast
Lun-- Quesadilla---22points
2 taco's chicken -- 06 points
dinner hamburger 10points
Lemon water --00points
bible 14 & 15 ---
0 exercise-- walk around hospital
very unbalanced C-

Job is one tough cookie

Boy in chapter 14 Job really gets down to the nitty gritty. In verse 6 he says; " So give us a little rest, won't you? Turn away your angry stare. (BEEN THERE FELT THAT) Then in verse
13 he says ; " I wish you would hide me with the dead and forget me there until your abger has passed. WOW I wish I could have said that a few times. I am seeing that inthe heat of an attack
Job says some pretty stupid things he would not say if he was calmer. How many times have we done that. OUCH!!! May we learn not to speak in anger but speak in love and calmness as God would have us speak.
Food brk. FAST
J
Lun. spagetti and meat balls OUCH
Din. double cheese burger fries Ouch
read job 13 and 14 as you can see
ZERO on the exercise docs orders
gby all
Jim.

Job chapter 13

In verse 9 it reads : Would it turn out well if HE examined you?
In cerse 15 it reads : Though he slay me yet will I hope in him;
I will surely defend my ways to his face.

Those are some strong words to have to back up. I know for me I would have
a very difficult time defending MY ways to his face. My ways have always
done me wrong if they do not match with Gods ways. So something to think about
would then be, Who's ways are you or I most likely to defend?
May God help us to die to self and live through HIS WAYS.
Amen
GB

To fight or not to fight

" If we are painstaking about this phase of our development we WILL be amazed before we are half way through. We ARE going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We Will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We WILL comprehend the word serenity and we WILL know peace. No matter how for down the scale we have gone, we WILL see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity WILL disapear. We WILL lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking WILL slip away. Our whole outlook on life WILL change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity WILL leave us. We WILL intuitively know how to handle situations that use to baffle us. We WILL suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves."

" Are these extravagant promises? WE THINK NOT!!! They ARE being fulfilled among us -----------sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They WILL ALWAYS materialize IF we work for them."

Mat we never forget the goal of the journey. It is to reach for the praize of the high call of GOD.
May we also not take lightly our comittment to it or to God .
GBY all,
Jim.

Thoughts on growth

Went to Church again and got slammed. They have to be following me around
or tapping my phone. "PEOPLE ARE NOT CLAY TO BE MOLDED.
THEY ARE GIFTS TO BE UNFOLDED." Acceptance is when you STOP
wanting someone to be like you. Allow them to be themselves and enjoy them.
WOW, What a concept.
food lun--- cereal banana milk 2 cups 8 points
dinner---- denver omelette potatoes 12 points
vegie soup 4 points
rye toast----- 6 points
ice tea & lemon water 0 points
total 30
bible read chapter 9 & 10
exercise very little doc orders

You just never know

It just amazes me how you think you are gonna go somewhere and just be a wall
flower and before you know it you are right in the thick of it. Then you make sure you wil not talk about anything and before you know it your running at the mouth.
Why is that I often ask myself? I think I got my answer tonight. Because God is a
"KNOW IT ALL" and I am NOTTTTT!!!! Other people are saying the same thing
and even intending the same thing and yet they share and end up ministering to you
and you to them before it is all said and done.
GODHELP ME TO , JUST DO IT AND NOT ASK WHY SO MUCH. HE SAYS, "
I WILL UNDERSTAND IT BETTER BYE AND BYE." So I may have to wait a while.
GOD HELP ME.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

Anger and it's length

Angerand resentment are the embylical cords that keep us tied to the perpetrator of the pain.
It keeps us tied up and bound to live in the present or to have a future.
Forgiveness is the scissor that cuts that cord. You may never forget the act.
You can however cut the cord that ties you to that hurt. You will never be truely
free from the person who hurt you until you do. Even decades later they still
control you because the hurt still makes you react in rage due to the lack
of protection you wanted then. You will never relate freely or as God would have you untilyou forgive that person who controlled you then.
YOU MUST FORGIVE SO THAT YOU CAN LIVE. THIS WILL MEAN ADMITTING
THAT YOU ARE GIVING UP ALL HOPE OF A BETTER PAST SO THAT YOU MAY
HAVE A FUTURE.
May God bless you all

Job chapter 8

After reading this chapter the verses that stick out the most to me are verses 5 & 6.
but if you will look to God and plead with the almighty, if you are pure and upright even nowhe will rouse himself on your behalf and restore you to your rightful place.
That is my prayer.
Short sweet and to the point.
Basic Training
brk. fst. Fast
lun. twp chicken taco's 8 points
two reg tacos 8 points
Dnr. leftover veggie stew w beef 6 points
2 X 32 oz lemon water 0 points
1 Diet lemonade 0 points
Exercise walking around hospital grounds
reading job 7 & 8 nine in the am of the 21.
GBY ALL.

Aday to reflect again

As the day went on and the storm draws near I got a dose of reality.
In life many times we are looking for the next storm to roll in.
We do not thank God for bringing us through the current storm before
we are asking him ; " ok God what now!" OR "What next!!"
I know I need to thank him more for bringing me through this storm
before I ask for the next one to be unleashed on me.
Perhaps God might hold off on the next storm and give me a breather.
Now that would be welcomed by all I am sure.
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT!!!!
Food: potato and egg omlette 2 eggs 1/2 potato OJ 4 oz. 10 points
Lunch : beef veggie stew home made by mom, lemon water. 04 points
dinr : salsbry steak dinner potatos veggies and leomonade. 18 points
TOTAL POINTS FOR THE DAY 32 POINTS

STRENGTH IN TRAINIG

Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them,
for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you.
He will not fail you or forsake you.
I see how conditioning in training can also apply to our heart.
The conditioning of our heart will decide our sucess or failure in Christ.
I also see how the two go hand in hand with one another.
Balance is the key for me as basic training continues.
That being said I need to go read job 6 & 7 right now.
As my dear sweet EX fiance would say;
" Blessings."

Monday A day of weridness

Well as the day went on I thought more and more about the message from
Saddleback. In deed it was another reminder that I was not all wrong all the time.
Working on myself these last few weeks has been healthy. It has been positive.
I am more rested and more aware of what I am eating and find it not as diffficult
to make better choices. God simply has control now of the outcome of work and
I am at peace with it. He will provide. Johovah my provider.
I am almost to much at peace with it. It is the peace that passes understanding.
Job had that kind of peace as he lost it all. May I continue to trust God alone.
brk>cereal milk water oj
lnch>lemon water
DNR> Salsbry. Stk. mashed potato
1/2 ear corn lemon water
walk around UCI hospital.
Job 5, 6-7tonight and in the morning.

man I am dumb and tired

Ok now I can say what I need.
Rally's was not good.
dinner was spagetti and turkey meat sauce
1 cup and then another.
Lemon water
exercise was a few laps around church grounds after church
Bible reading for chapter 6 tonight or should I say this morning now.
time for bed and good night.

A final thought

HANGING TOUGH

Today at Church the message was about hanging tough. We have the choice
in everything we do to hang tough or cut the cord. That cord is what ties us
to one another and to God. a three strong cord is not easily broken. The question
I have is this : If you are the cutter of the cord with your dicorded attitude
and resentments what right do you have to demand the other cord change
to satisfy or pasify you. God did not cut the cord nor did He change. So it comes
right back to you the cord cutter that must change.
Suggestion : If all else fails try love, compassion ,forgiveness, and understanding.
You get alot more with SUGAR then you do with VINEGAR.
Amen.
May God bless your day.
Lunch Rally's one double burger and diet lemonade

Good morning America

Boy was I tired when I got home last night. Our question last night at C.R. reminded me of what really went wrong about 2 years ago. Pre Celebrate Recovery a request for intamacy without the assurance of safety and non judgement fell on deaf ears. Why should I risk the my emotional safety for critical judgemental verbal belittleing. If you want IN-TO-ME-SEE with me make it safe for me to open up and I will bare my soul. IN THE NOW I see that it is not always that simple. I do need to risk to reach my mate or friends. THEN it is up to the other person to embrace or sabotage the IN-TO-ME-SEE between us. My fault was I did not risk first and presumed the worst.
May God bless your day.

A day to re energize

Hey world today was a good day to work around the house. So I did.
did not do much more.
Basic training
No beakfast
Lunch at 3:00
4 oz roast beef 4 points
4oz pot. sal. 5 points (mayo)
4oz grp.juice 3 points
diet cake 4 points
lemon water 0 points
Dinner 8:00
veggie soup 2 points (mom added chicken)
diet choc. pud. 3 points
pntbtr&jly sand 5 points
lemon water 0
TOTAL PTS 26 ALLOWED 30-37
Fell short still recovering from flu.

A word from the Lord

Here this word from the Lord. Read it all!!!!IF GOD HAD NOT STOOPED DOWN, COULD I HAVE REACHED UP.God who is perfect stooped down so I could be lifted up. In my imperfections, He stooped down. With my negative attitude, God stooped down. When I was steeped in depression, God stooped down. When my life was threatened by the devil, He stooped down.When I lost Karla God stooped down. When I needed an answer God stooped down. In my disobiedence God stopped down. When the doctors said I was going to die, He stooped down. When I was blinded by my own sin, He stooped down. When people said I was no good, God stooped down. When I was guilty, God stooped down.When I was at my lowest GOD stooped down. When I deserved to be stoned, God stooped down. When I had noone else to listen, God stooped down. When I was steeped in self pity, God stooped down.?????? What has God stooped down and done for you? I WANT YOU TO REPLY TO THIS E MAIL WITH YOUR LIST OF WHAT GOD HAS DONE FOR YOU.When we put action with our faith and dig he will do more then we can even ask or comprehend. When you face the boss you do not like, take your shovel. When your friends put you down, take your shovel. When the devil comes and torments you, take your shovel. When you are overwhelmed, take your shovel, When the pressure is more then you can bare, take your shovel. When the devil says you have lost, take your shovel. When you relapse in your co-dependency, take your shovel. When your past is dark, take your shovel. When your past still effects you, take your shovel. When the pain is more then you can bare, take your shovel. When you are ready to give up, take your shovel.AS WE GO THROUGH JOB MAY WE KEEP OUR SHOVEL HANDY SO WE CAN DIG!!!!!

Man I almost forgot

Hey dude. we start on job now and chapter one talks about the stripping of all job had and yet he still had God and did not get angry with him. WOW. I can kinda relate now
with losing Karla, the kids, my cat, my job perhaps, and having no money. God help me not to get angry and stil say PRAISE GOD through it all.
Good night man. Post your blog so I can comment.

Man I almost forgot

I am a Kings kid

I want to be a child of the King. That being said why do I continue to make decisions and act on things as if God was absent from my life all together. I am realizing moe and more that my trust in Him has been verbal and not internal. I am sure that hurts Him because I have been talked to as if I was not really trusted but they said they did. Man, God forgive me for being so inconsistent with the love you have given me. Lord, please help me to trust you with my internal external and verbal parts of my life and not speak it then doubt I DESERVE IT in my next thought and breath. Amen.

This is the day the Lord has made

Happy Sunday to you.
Yesterday was a day of reflection as to wear I am.
Today I think of letting go of some things.
Let go of the dead things in your life.
God is a god of the living.
Come out of the dead coma of past dreams into the now of God.
God blind me to my purpose so I can see your pupose for me.
The bible is my construction document. So Lord help me build
a teple that will stand the storms and tests of the Devil.
We are limited to what we can see. It is in the unseen unfit
uncomprehendable vision and plan of Chirst our answers are found.

This is the day the Lord has made

Wow what a word.

The beaking of you is the beginning of Him in you.
He that plants is a tool.
He that waters is a tool.
God is the grower of you His seed.
God did not OPP'S you where you are.
You were programmed for a purpose that only you
could fill. Saten does not know God's plan so he can't take you out
with his plan.
In spite of your faults God programmed you to fit His plan.
If God be for me WHO can be against me!!
I may have no job, but I fit.
I may have lost Karla, but I fit.
I may be overweight, but I fit.
I may be depressed, but I fit.
I may be being tested, but I fit.
I may be stretched, but I fit.
I may have H.H.H., but I fit.
I may be co-dependent, but I fit.
I may not get it all right, but I fit.
Give us THIS day Lord our daily bread.

A day of rest

James 2 says we are to have faith with works.
Since I am not working can I let my faith fail?
NO I CAN"T!! I have to have faith because at times that is all I have.
My tounge will praise him no matter what. He has the power so I need
to not try to rassle with him and trust him to lead and I do man.
WATER 32oz
food salami and turkey sand
peach & milk.
Fasted breakfast.
DEVIL YOU ARE GOING DOWN!!
TWO TWO OF US WILL PUT 10,000
DEVILS TO FLIGHT!!!!

DAY ONE HAS COME AND GONE

Dinner was good and so was I. I have not snacked at all
The messge tonight showed me how liitle I have learned
and how much I have learned. I am at the growth stage
of GRACE and have to get that person in the mirror to
look more like Christ. Lets do it man. Chapter to in the am.

Day #1

James is my kind of guy. He goes through it all and still finds a way to
come back to God. Step 10 HUH!!!YIPPY!
4 pieces french toast whole wheat ,4 oz oj, water, and peach
Chapter 1 has alot in it man. Sticker for me was,
how easy we can falter and in so mnay ways.
Something to ponder for us I think.

no longer the same

God you are my everything and I surrender to you the next forty days
myself and Steve to bring us closer to your feet. May you god be glorified
in this and have ALL the glory