SOMETIMES WE ARE JUST TO THINK TO LEARN

As I sit and contemplate my week i see how depression and anger has ruled my week. I have given into my anger and now want revenge. I know this isnot of God and so therefore I strugggle more. I ask god to take it out and yet I reach to clutch it. God knows deep down my heart does not want revenge. What I do want is a way to define this huge gapeing whole I have in my heart from a shotgun blast to it. Picking up the pieces has been hard and now putting them al back together in the right places is the hardest and the most painful. that is where the anger comes from. It does not help when you see yet another man moving in on the woman you loved or still love. The pain goes deeper and so I cry to God again Lord take this from me. Seeing affection toward another man given when that is all you asked fro yourself and rarely got is just not fair.
Please know that this dumping does not change the fact that I know this is right for me right now nor does it lessen the fact that it still hurts to me deepest core.
Please remember me in prayer.
Jim.